he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
