holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
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He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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