She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
