i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
