Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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