Betty ford says i'm here all night
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize