I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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