I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
