He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
