He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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