one might say we're banned from that church
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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