Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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