The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
