I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
