Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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