lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
