it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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