I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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