If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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