she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
