Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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