yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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