U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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