I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
