Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
