i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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