when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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