walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
