Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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