we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
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Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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