oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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