a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
