I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
