Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
