I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
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And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Are my feet made of real feet?
50% drunk capacity currently
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Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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