Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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