Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
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We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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