Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
