yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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