There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
