the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
