I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
