either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
