About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
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