Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
