You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
