I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
