It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
