what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
