her vagine was all disorganized.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
