he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
