I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You ate ashes out of my bong
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
