O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I need to sanitize my soul.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
