I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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