How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
