Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
