It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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