So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
