Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
