What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
...so i touched it.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
